


waiting patiently

by toriiixoox



Series: lose it [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Emotional Sex, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Smut, tsukishima kei is just so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:29:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26351197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toriiixoox/pseuds/toriiixoox
Summary: Yamaguchi has held Tsukishima's hand throughout their entire relationship, leading them from big chapter to big chapter, and their first time is no different.Alternately: Yamaguchi asks Tsukishima if he wants to top him and his entire world freezes in place.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: lose it [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1868281
Comments: 11
Kudos: 268





	waiting patiently

**Author's Note:**

> look okay this is just yamaguchi being soft and sweet at his boyfriend for their first time ,,, that's it 
> 
> the title of this series is called lose it and it's called lose it p2 (omg a double entendre) in my google docs and I just need everyone to know that

A year of official dating later and Yamaguchi finds himself still taking the lead in so many situations. He’s the one that ultimately asked Tsukki out after a few weeks straight of secretly kissing in his room with the music blaring until his mom came home. He’s the one that told everyone after school in the gym, holding Tsukki’s hand gently and answering (mostly) any questions that the team had for them. He refused to answer Noya’s question about who was the top and who was the bottom, but he  _ did  _ answer Hinata’s question about if Tsukishima tasted as salty as he sounded. He even orchestrated their first  _ real _ date, asking him out properly and making dinner reservations and picking Tsukki up at his front door with honest to god  _ flowers _ . 

Yamaguchi doesn’t mind taking the lead. He, surprisingly, has much more relationship knowledge than Tsukki does, both from personal experience, friend’s experiences, and romantic movies. Tsukishima, before Yamaguchi, didn’t seem to care much at all about relationships and romantics. Like he said, that’s okay. He didn’t mind one bit, not when he got to see how trusting Tsukki was when he crumbled beneath him. 

The one thing that Yamaguchi can’t seem to get right, that he can’t configure how exactly to bring into light, that he doesn’t know how to  _ lead _ into is the next big step in their relationship. Yamaguchi knows that he, himself, wants it. He thinks about it…  _ a lot _ , but what if Tsukki doesn’t? He hadn’t brought it up in the slightest, hadn’t even asked Yamaguchi about the possibility or his past, never asked questions. 

Yamaguchi didn’t have to ask questions, he already knew the answer. Yamaguchi had been Tsukishima’s first kiss. After many,  _ many _ repetitive validations, Yamaguchi finally truly believed that he was Tsukki’s first kiss. It just didn’t seem probable in the slightest. 

If he had been Tsukki’s first kiss, he didn’t even have to ask if he was his first  _ first _ , he just assumed. It was a justified assumption. Tsukki, on the other hand, knew that Yamaguchi had been in relationships before and had ample more experience in the physicality of them. Even still, he didn’t prod or question the status of Yamaguchi’s virginity, not once.

The longer that their relationship went strong, the closer that they got, physically and emotionally. Now, 1 year later, every moment that they got to be alone was just proving that it was only a matter of time before it happened. If it were completely up to Yamaguchi, it would have happened months ago, but Tsukki didn’t really show any signs of wanting to progress further, instead just content with making out and roaming touches. 

So Yamaguchi waits. He waits until Tsukki makes any indication at all that he wants to move forward. But when he’s sitting with Tsukki on the train, his leg bouncing up and down rapidly, Tsukki’s hand hovering over his knee, but not touching it, waiting for Yamaguchi’s hand to meet the back of his, waiting for an okay to move forward, he realizes. He realizes that maybe Tsukki doesn’t know how to make an indication, maybe he’s waiting so patiently for Yamaguchi to take the lead like he always does. 

* * *

There is no better time, no greater gift from the universe, than when Yamaguchi’s mom tells him that she’s going out of town the weekend after his revelation. She tells him that she’ll leave money for groceries or takeout, she’ll see him Monday when he gets back from school, to behave, and that Kei is allowed over, but please be respectful. Yamaguchi isn’t exactly sure what that means. He’s always respectful to Tsukki. 

He tells Tsukki immediately, asking him if he wants to spend the night solely based on the fact that the house will be vacant. Yamaguchi doesn’t think that he completely understands the gravity of the situation when he replies with [ lol sounds good ]. While Tsukki is probably at home, in his room, spinning around in his chair while he texts Yamaguchi back, Yamaguchi is on his way to the convenience store close to his house, getting everything that he might possibly need for this weekend. 

Saturday can’t come fast enough. 

Yamaguchi tries his best to not seem overtly anxious about the big event that may or may not happen tonight. He doesn’t know if he should bring it up to Tsukki, asking before they even get to his room or if he should just ask for little confirmations when he’s underneath him. 

They spend most of their time in the common area, sitting on the couch, making dinner together with the few groceries that Yamaguchi bought for the weekend. They watch TV and play video games in the living room. It’s not much different than how they normally hang out, except now, all alone in the house with just the two of them, Yamaguchi doesn’t leave Tsukki’s lap. 

Every time that Tsukki brings up moving to Yamaguchi’s room, he makes an excuse. The excuse is usually something about finishing an episode or a round or just being too comfy, but the real reason is that he knows when they enter into his room, Tsukki is going to change into his pajamas like he does every time he sleeps over, and Yamaguchi doesn’t know how he’ll be able to cope. Seeing him in a baggy t-shirt and boxers might drive him insane before he can even think about taking Tsukki’s virginity. 

That thought makes him physically shudder so hard that Tsukki asks him if he’s okay. He nods as convincingly as he can, despite the fact that he’s not sure if he’s okay. Tsukki moves underneath him, shifting slightly and Yamaguchi knows that if he waits any longer, he might make a rash decision and start kissing him right here. “Are you ready to go upstairs?” Yamaguchi’s voice is far more sultry than he expects it to be, but he doesn’t think that Tsukki even notices as he nods, standing up with Yamaguchi still in his lap. Tsukki’s arm is wrapped tightly around his stomach as he brings them both to their feet. 

Tsukishima takes off his shirt as soon as he steps foot in Yamaguchi’s room, throwing it to the side and undoing the string of his waistband. He knows that he should wait until he’s changed into his pajamas, but his sweatpants are no longer knotted tightly around his waist and his shirt is in a ball on the floor instead of covering his torso. The two of these phenomena combined means that Tsukki’s defined stomach is absolutely bare and his sweatpants are loosely hanging on his hips. Sure, Yamaguchi wants to see Tsukki in his boxers, but the sight in front of him is much more important. 

He reaches his hand out, placing it on Tsukki’s wrist as he hooks a finger in his own waistband. Honestly, he thought that he’d last longer being in the room with Tsukki in the empty house. He thought that he would at least make it to when they’re both laying in bed comfortably together before he started attacking his lips. 

He didn’t. 

Yamaguchi’s hand is cupped underneath Tsukki’s jaw, using it to pull his lips into his, fingers softly tracing the bottom of his chin. Tsukki is surprised at the sudden action, obviously, considering he had just been trying to change when Yamaguchi decided that he had mulled over the situation in his head enough. In the moment, everything was becoming clearer to Yamaguchi. Everything was falling into place. 

Hands migrate to Tsukki’s abdomen, abandoning his face completely and paying attention to the hard ridges and dips of the muscles. There isn’t anything to grasp, but his fingers are still curling over the soft skin. Moving down, his hands support Tsukki’s lower back, pulling him against his own chest. He’s suddenly aware, and very sad, that he’s wearing so much clothing. 

He’s holding onto his hips now, using the tight grip to guide him backward toward the bed. As much as he loved standing and kissing Tsukki in the middle of his room, laying Tsukki down and crawling on top of him to make out with him sounded even better. 

The second that his lips pull apart from Tsukki’s, Yamaguchi is angry at himself for not being able to do everything with their lips smushed together. He forgives himself quickly after as he gets to look at Tsukki lying on his back, bare chest rising and falling, mouth open and shimmering with spit that’s not his own, and his sweatpants riding so low, pulling the waistband of his boxers down with them. He is definitely not angry anymore. 

He pulls himself onto the bed gently, one leg on either side of Tsukki’s hips, straddling him. They had been in this position a handful of times before, but Yamaguchi can still feel himself flush, hands resting against Tsukki’s sternum, pressed completely into his lap. His eyes are locked on Tsukki’s as he circles his hips, feeling him grow hard against him. They were very quickly moving into new territory of their relationship. 

As much as he loves the view from up here, he misses how good Tsukki tastes. He closes the gap between them, chest pressed against his chest, and kisses him. His tongue swipes over his bottom lip, playing with it gently before teasing the part. They had gotten disgustingly good at kissing, seeing as it was their favorite pastime. The chemistry between the two of them was so great now that they moved in time with one another. As Tsukki’s mouth opened, Yamaguchi’s tongue slipped in gently, moving around and exploring, but never clashing. Each movement of the muscle is thoughtful, gliding against his teeth, tongue, inside of his cheeks, anywhere and everywhere that he can reach. He sucks Tsukki’s lip into his mouth, rolling it gently between his teeth and smiling at the small sound that brushes right past Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima is lying underneath him just  _ waiting _ for whatever Yamaguchi wants to do next. It’s so endearing, the utter trust that he has for his boyfriend. He wants to feel the hollow thumping of Tsukki’s chest pressed directly against his skin, so he pulls his shirt over his head, now very aware that Tsukki’s chest is much more defined than this. The insecurities are fleeting, though, as Tsukki, for the first time tonight, moves with such purpose, placing his hands on Yamaguchi’s side and running them down his ribs and sides until they’re firmly positioned on his hips, his breath skipping like flat stones on a still lake as he hesitantly presses his fingertips into the caves of his hip bones. 

As much as he wanted to use his mouth to kiss Tsukki senseless, he wants to make sure that everything is okay, that he’s ready. The best thing about it is that if he’s not ready, he’ll get to lay here and just make out with his boyfriend for hours until they both fall asleep. If he is ready, then, well, Yamaguchi might melt with pure joy. 

“Is this okay?” Yamaguchi asks at first. He wants to ease into the conversation, kissing his jawline after the sentence and then making eye contact with him as he waits for his answer. 

“Yea, of course, why?” Tsukki questions, obviously not  _ totally  _ getting it, but that’s okay. 

“I mean, like,” Yamaguchi takes a breath, trying to find the right words that won’t make him or Tsukki spontaneously combust or be avidly confused. “We’re here alone.” Yamaguchi’s voice is low, a heat rising as he continues on, “and we’ve been dating for a while and I…” He takes another breath.  _ Fuck it _ . “I want to have sex.” He’s so confident in this sentence that the stutters that come after feel so out of place, “I- If that’s okay. If- If that’s what you want, I mean.”

Yamaguchi had never seen Tsukki in the state that he’s in right now. That’s saying something considering he witnessed Tsukki in the most embarrassed state of his life. Hinata had walked in on Yamaguchi and Tsukki making out in the closet after practice one day and screamed so loudly, refusing to stop talking about it for weeks after. The redness on his face seemed dismal to the scarlet that’s washed over him completely. 

He’s patient, waiting for Tsukki to answer him, not pressuring him into making a decision or rushing him into a wrong answer. He reiterates the alternative. “If you’re not ready, Tsukki, that’s okay.” Yamaguchi runs his hand through blonde locks, scratching his fingertips against his scalp like he knows Tsukki loves so much. “We can just lay in bed and kiss a lot. That’s totally okay, too.” 

“No!” Tsukishima’s answer might be read as hasty if you didn’t also consider how adorable he looked right after. He clears his throat, Yamaguchi’s eyes resting on it, thinking solely about the fact that he wants to brush his lips against it. “I’m ready.” He sounds so certain in his response that Yamaguchi smiles bringing out the raw truth from Tsukishima. There’s so much trust in the admittance. “I’m just nervous, I think.” It takes everything inside of him not to giggle from how light his chest feels. His response is so innocent, so sweet, so candid that Yamaguchi just wants to kiss all of his worries away. He reaches his hand down, caressing his cheek so soft that Tsukishima has to tilt his head to feel the contact. 

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, Kei.” The way that Tsukki’s given name feels in his mouth after his nickname was such a common occurrence is slightly strange, but not unwelcome. Yamaguchi doesn’t know if it makes the situation better or not, but he feels more confident watching Tsukki flush even brighter. He wants the flush to stick around, to grow darker and warmer against his flesh, but he also needs Tsukki to know that tonight is all about him. 

“Do you want to top?”

Tsukishima’s eyes widen, disbelief and shock wracking his entire body as he stills. After Yamaguchi took the lead so often in their relationship, this is not what he had expected at all. He stutters over his words, excited, but also terrified at the possibility. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Are you sure?”

Yamaguchi’s grin stretches ear to ear, crinkles forming in the corner of his eyes, and a breath coming from him that resembles pure happiness. “Of course, Tsukki. I think you’ll enjoy it more and I just want this to be about you.” His grin turns mischievous, laughing softly as Tsukki’s skin radiates his blush. “I know I’ll enjoy it.” 

He’s mumbling now, but it just makes Yamaguchi feel lighter. “What if I do something wrong?” He sounds so shy, so worried that he’s going to mess up their first time together. Yamaguchi bends down to quiet his worries, lips pressed against Tsukki’s so hard that he can’t speak, hoping that the kiss convinces him. And if the kiss isn’t enough on its own, he starts moving his hands again, running them over his chest and down, flat against his stomach, and molding around the curves of his sides and hips. Holding tightly, he circles his hips again, more thought this time in the movement and the feeling it caused. 

“I’m here, Tsukki,” he says sweetly. When Tsukki tries to put himself down again, Yamaguchi cuts him off. “Have I ever let you down before?” He watches Tsukki’s throat as he swallows again, knowing now that there’s nothing holding him back from dragging his tongue all the way down his body. He feels his chest crashing into Tsukki’s ribcage, cushioned only by the soft skin and muscles that are there to protect them. His intentions were supposed to be more along the lines of something sweeter, softer, but he’s already held back once tonight. 

He runs the tip of his tongue down the side of his jaw, tasting every inch that he can before tracing a line to his collarbone. He stops, there, bringing his lips around it and letting his teeth scrape against it before gently sucking on it. The encouragement lies in the grip that tightens around his hips and the breath that Tsukki lets out as the heartbeat against his chest intensifies. 

He wants to stay here for hours, kissing his neck and chest until the sensation is no longer pleasurable for Tsukki, but a few minutes into it and Tsukki is already getting restless, moving his hips up into Yamaguchi and pressing his head further back in the pillow. His lips move further down, feeling the muscles of his chest and stomach as he peppers kisses onto his upper body, looking up at him as he does so, each kiss starting as a ring, mouth open in an O shape, and closing quickly. Smooth skin is trapped between his lips as they come back together causing Tsukki to flex at the feeling. 

All too soon, but somehow not soon enough, his lips are kissing along the v on Tsukki’s hips. He hasn’t broken eye contact with his boyfriend the entire time, his eyes locked onto his as he slips his fingers into the waistband of Tsukki’s sweatpants and boxers and starts pulling them down. He’s looking for any amount of hesitancy or doubt in Tsukki’s eyes, but all he can see is an eagerness that just increases the lower the pants fall. 

Yamaguchi is so focused on watching Tsukki watch him that he almost doesn’t notice when the base of his cock is visible. He only notices because of the way that Tsukki’s chest rose discernibly as the cool air replaced the previous warmth. His attention is now completely on the sight in front of him. He had, many times, felt Tsukki through his pants or boxers, grinding on him, hands roaming, even once or twice with his mouth as he teased him in really heavy sessions, but he had never  _ seen  _ anything. His movements are slow, but he’s not sure if he’s teasing Tsukki or himself more. 

With his bottoms completely around his thighs, Yamaguchi can appreciate all that’s in front of him. His eyes are no longer on Tsukki’s, despite how badly he wants to watch his eyes on him. His thoughts are, instead, fixated on Tsukki’s length, how much bigger Tsukki is than him, and how he probably should have seen him before saying he would take him.  _ God, _ he wanted to take him. 

More so than that, he wanted to make Tsukki feel good, wanted to show him how incredible this could be. Tsukki’s arms were awkwardly on either side of himself, no fluidity or relaxation. Yamaguchi tilts his head, rubbing the shaft between the part of his wet lips as he reaches up and takes both of Tsukki’s hands. He laces his fingers with one, feeling his arm sink more comfortably in the bed, and he moves the other into his hair, placing his palm on the back of his hand and closing around it. Yamaguchi feels the gentle pull of his own hair, moving with the mild tug. Tsukki begins to pull away, afraid that’s done something wrong, but Yamaguchi just closes his hand tighter, the tug becoming slightly rougher, but nothing that Yamaguchi doesn’t enjoy. 

He moves Tsukki’s hand in time with his head bobs, following his movements as he tilts his head in the other direction, letting the head slide into his mouth. Instinctively, his grip tightens at the pleasure that pulses through his body at this small sensation. He almost releases, but Yamaguchi lets out a small hum and he smiles as much as he can with Tsukki in his mouth. He takes as much of him into his mouth as he can, getting barely halfway before he can feel him in his throat. The noises coming out of Tsukki right now are enough to entice him to get him deeper in his throat. Every bob of his head, he attempts to get more of Tsukki into his mouth and down his throat. Feeling Tsukki’s hand guiding him ever so slightly, he plants his hand on his hip, leveraging himself to get deeper without gagging. 

He wants to ask Tsukki if he’s ever done this before just for curiosity's sake. He can’t imagine he’s gone this far without having a first kiss, but that’s just a presumption. A presumption that is confirmed the second Yamaguchi looks up. Tsukki’s head is so deep in the pillow that his chin is high in the air, quivering as he mutters Yamaguchi’s name in succession. He hums around him in an effort to get his attention. He wants to see his face in full, wants to see exactly how it’s contorting because of him. Tsukki is far too busy being engulfed in satisfaction that he doesn’t get the hint, instead lifting his hips marginally at the hum.

With a pop, his mouth is completely off of Tsukki who is now looking directly at him trying his best to hide his disappointment and failing. The disappointment fades quickly to make room for the panic as he notices that Yamaguchi very much still has his pants on. He’s about to apologize or mention it or something else that’s unnecessary when Yamaguchi returns to his feet again. It’s weird, towering over his boyfriend instead of under him, but he can’t complain about the sight. 

Tsukki sits up, hands reaching for the band around Yamaguchi’s thin waist, desperate to make up for his selfishness. He tries to mimic the caution and slowness that Yamaguchi did as he pulled the pants down, but he finds himself fumbling with nervousness. Yamaguchi places his hands over top of Tsukki's, guiding them as his pants fall to his ankles, completely exposing himself. 

Tsukishima doesn’t know exactly what to do first. He thinks about taking Yamaguchi in his mouth like he had done for him or just stroking him. Before he can make a move to do either, Yamaguchi is reaching his hand out, palm up, asking, without any words, for Tuskishima’s hand. As soon as he places it, Yamaguchi uses it to guide Tsukishima up, swapping places with him on the bed. He can see the confusion spreading across Tsukki’s face, but he doesn’t explain anything to him. He’ll understand in a moment. 

While he’s positioning himself on the bed, sitting near the edge and grabbing pillows from the top of the bed, he nods toward the drawer of his nightstand. “Can you grab me the lube?” His tone is much more casual than the question that comes out of it. He grabs the small bottle from the drawer, still intrigued about the ensuing events as he sets it down next to Yamaguchi. 

Yamaguchi’s back is completely against the bed, his head propped up on a stack of pillows so that he could completely see Tsukki standing in front of him. He spreads his legs, blushing at how thoroughly exposed he is in this position. He brings his knees up to give himself better leverage for what he’s about to do. Eyes trained on Tsukki and his slacked jaw, he spreads himself open, both hands firmly grasped on his ass as he sees Tsukki shiver. He wants to give his boyfriend a show. 

Tsukki is frozen in time as Yamaguchi opens the cap on the lube and squirts the cool liquid onto his fingers, rubbing it in with the pad of his thumb before snaking his hand under his leg. He rubs his fingers on the hole, saturating it with the lubricant, circling it and massaging the outside before he even touches the center. He’s staring directly up at Tsukki as Tsukki is staring intently at what Yamaguchi’s slim fingers are doing so fiercely that he doesn’t even notice the precome leaking from his slit or the way his cock twitches at the touch. It’s a shame, really, he knows that Tsukki might have actually drooled at this. 

He pushes one of his fingers in to his first knuckle, adjusting for only a second before pushing in deeper, a breath escaping him at the pressure. He moves his finger, taking it almost entirely out before pushing it all the way in to the base. The expression on Tsukki’s face as Yamaguchi whimpers makes him twitch again. The need to put on a show for his boyfriend taking over as he pushes another finger inside of himself. 

The pressure is greater now, burning at how full he’s feeling already. He knows that he should have massaged himself open more before doubling the thickness inside of him, but the pain is second to the pride he feels when Tsukki’s mouth opens even wider and, despite the fact that nothing’s touching him, he moans. Yamaguchi grabs the bottle again, squeezing it right onto his fingers that are already inside of him, not bothering to warm it up with his body heat first. The coolness takes his breath away, but he powers forward, pumping his fingers in and out of himself slowly at first and then increasing in speed as Tsukki’s eyes look more and more glazed over. When he’s feeling adjusted enough, he spreads his two fingers apart, scissoring himself open for Tsukki to see inside of him. The thought of what he looks like in front of Tsukki crosses his mind briefly. Vulnerability is clawing at his insides, but against all odds, it’s only adding to how hot he feels. 

Every time his fingers plunge deeper inside of him, almost deep enough to feel the swollen bundle of nerves hidden inside of him, he lets out a moan. He wants to get deeper, to  _ really _ show Tsukki how good he can make himself feel, but his fingers are just not long enough for the position that he’s in. He knows that he can’t get deeper to show Tsukki, but he can add another finger. 

With one motion, he’s feeling even fuller, the dull sting coming back as he feels himself loosening, preparing for his boyfriend’s cock. Yamaguchi was so focused on prepping, on displaying himself, on the amazement on Tsukishima’s face, that he hadn’t even noticed how hard Tsukishima had gotten or the fact that his arms were, once again, awkwardly at his sides. Any ounce of embarrassment that he might have felt if he wasn’t feeling so intoxicated on every sensation has left his mind. “You can touch yourself if you want,” he pants. 

The forwardness shocks Tsukishima for only a moment before he timidly moves his hand and wraps it around his own cock. Yamaguchi passes him the bottle of lube. If he wasn’t so preoccupied with holding his legs open and stretching himself, he would have helped Tsukki, but he also knows that Tsukki would much rather him continue on. He watches steadily as Tsukki drips a generous amount of lube onto his hard length and notices how easily his fist glides over his cock. Everything inside of Yamaguchi is telling him to ask Tsukki to do the same to his neglected cock, but he knows that Tsukki is probably feeling overwhelmed with the unfamiliarity of the situation and he wants him to be comfortable. 

The grunts that are coming from Tsukki are now more justifiable as he strokes himself to the sight in front of him, his boyfriend preparing his own hole for his cock. Even with the fluidity of Tsukki’s movements, he still doesn’t look totally comfortable. Pleasured, yes; relaxed, no. His fingers are driving in and out of his hole steadily, pulling them apart to simultaneously prep himself and to show Tsukki how wide he’s getting for him as he speaks. “You can touch me, too, if you want.” He sounds almost breathless from the repetitive motions. 

The fluidity lessens for a moment before he takes a step forward and rests his hand bashfully on Yamaguchi’s knee, rubbing his thumb against his skin. The contact seems to comfort him, feeling more sure of every action he’s taking. Yamaguchi’s arm that was holding his leg open falls down to his side as Tsukki spreads them instead. His cock is so close to his skin that a rashness in his mind is telling him to forgo his fourth finger and to just take him in one swift go. He has to shove another finger in to stop himself. 

His head rolls back as he does so, legs threatening to close, but being held in place by Tsukki’s strong grasp. He’s so thankful for him. His moans have ceased, his jaw hanging open silently instead, only shallow breaths leaving him. He wants to voice how  _ good _ it feels, how tight he is, how much he wishes Tsukki was inside him, but he can’t think straight, can barely focus on moving his hand. He uses his free hand to shakily pour more lube onto his hand, getting some on his sheets from how foggy his mind is. With the added lubrication glazing his fingers, they sink into him so much easier. Even with his heightened stimulation, he still can’t make a single sound. 

“Is that good, Dashi? You look so good.” The words aren’t nearly as confident as they should be coming from his boyfriend who is currently towering over top of him and fisting his cock as he holds his legs spread, but they allow something to click in Yamaguchi’s head. He’s nodding now as he starts thanking Tsukki for the praise, telling him that he feels so good, a relief washing over him as he feels the vibrations rise in his throat. 

“Yes, Tsukki, thank you, Tsukki, yes. It feels so good, fuck.” The vulgarity leaving his mouth somehow takes Tsukishima more by surprise than the view in front of him. It wasn’t like Yamaguchi to swear, but hearing the word tear from his throat makes him throb in his own hand. His moans are becoming louder and more frequent as he relentlessly fingers his hole with four fingers. Any pain that was caused by the stretching has subsided into such a dull sensation that he doesn’t even feel it compared to the pleasure that’s pulsating through his body. “Kei, fuck, it feels so good, oh my God, fuck.” 

The string of words sounds better than any sentence Tsukishima’s ever heard. Hearing his given name come out of Yamaguchi’s mouth when he’s just so taken over by ecstasy makes confidence surge through him. He had only said it a handful of times they had known each other, two of those times being tonight, but Tsukishima was tempted to never let Yamaguchi call him anything else ever again. He wants to hear it again, this time between moans caused directly from him. He knows that he’s playing a part in them, but he also knows that he hasn’t solely caused them yet. Yamaguchi hadn’t guided him to, hadn’t led him to, but Yamaguchi is so concerned with how this night is going for Tsukki directly that he hasn’t realized how good Tsukki will feel making Yamaguchi feel good. 

Tsukki sinks to his knees, fist still wrapped around his own cock and now level with the action he’s been watching so intensely. As much as he just wants to sit and watch Yamaguchi finger himself, he knows that he wants to make Yamaguchi squirm from his own doing. The grip on his wrist stops the rapid motion, a dissatisfied, but curious sound leaving Yamaguchi as he realizes that it’s Tsukki’s hand and that he’s no longer hovering over top of him. Tsukki, on his own terms and much to Yamaguchi’s dismay, guides Yamaguchi’s hand away from its place between his thighs. In seconds, he feels so empty. He lifts his head, eyeing Tsukishima and furrowing his eyebrows, trying to see what he’s up to. 

He misses the feeling of fullness for only a moment as Tsukishima presses his tongue flat against his hole, running it over top of its entirety. Yamaguchi can’t stop the surprised moan that fills the air around them. Without his own guidance, he’s so surprised that Tsukki would do something so forward, though, he’s not complaining. Tsukishima’s tongue isn’t moving in an expert manner. He’s not reading his mind and licking every place that he yearns. He isn’t bringing him to the brink of orgasm in mere minutes. But he’s trying so hard and lapping at the places that he thinks Yamaguchi will like and just the thought of it all makes Yamaguchi weak. 

When the tip of his tongue circles the once tight rim, he shivers against him. The pressure is more powerful now as he traces the ring around his hole before plunging his tongue as deep as he can. His shiver turns into a roll of the hips as he tries to get Tsukki’s tongue deeper inside of him. Tsukishima freezes, letting Yamaguchi thrust his hips and fuck himself on his tongue. “Kei, fuck, Kei.” Tsukishima almost smiles when he gets exactly what he wanted. He braces his hands on Yamaguchi’s hips, holding him still as he moves his tongue in and out of him. 

He places his lips around the hole and sucks gently, tongue still exploring his insides as much as he can. Tsukishima is surprised at how much he’s enjoying himself right now. The taste is insurmountably better than he ever anticipated it being and the feeling of the ridges on Yamaguchi’s loosened hole, the glazed fleshy walls, it’s causing any remaining blood in his body to rush straight to his cock. He’s feeling lightheaded at how quickly he gets even harder. 

Tsukishima is pulled out of his concentration when Yamaguchi says his nickname and touches his shoulder lightly. “Tsukki.” Their eyes meet as Yamaguchi says his next sentence and Tsukishima nearly passes out, he’s convinced. “Will you please fuck me?” 

He doesn’t want to seem overly eager, so he tortures himself with how slowly he stands back up. “Same drawer as the lube.” It’s not a full sentence, but Tsukishima understands, opening the drawer and taking out a condom from the depths. He rolls it onto himself as he walks back over to Yamaguchi, sitting patiently in the same place that he was before. He stares down at Yamaguchi as he slicks the outside of the condom, making sure that he’s properly lubricated before positioning himself. 

His hand is on the base of his cock as he lines the tip up with Yamaguchi’s hole. He presses his engorged head against the rim, not moving his hips enough to penetrate it, but enough for Yamaguchi to feel the pressure of the spongy tip rub against him. Tsukki grunts at the contact. Suddenly, he’s very aware of the fact that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s never done this before. What if he hurts Yamaguchi? What if he does something wrong? Fucks something up? What if it’s not as good as he thinks it’s going to be?

He’s dragged out of his own thoughts when Yamaguchi wraps his slender fingers around Tsukki’s wrist. He looks up at him, giving him a reassuring smile. “I love you.” It’s not dirty or horny or expecting or eager, just a declaration of love that erases all of his worries. 

“I love you too, Dashi,” he replies, blushing more now than he was in the beginning. 

Yamaguchi pulls on Tsukki’s wrist, guiding him forward until the head pushes past the initial tightness. His breathing increases rapidly, hips lifting off the bed and fingers falling from Tsukki’s wrist to grasp the sheets below him. Without the hand to guide him, Tsukki doesn’t want to move, but the feeling of his sensitive head inside of Yamaguchi coupled with Yamaguchi’s quiet encouragements sandwiched between gasps are motivation enough. He moves his hips forward slightly, letting more of his length bury inside of Yamaguchi. Each time that he moves, he lets Yamaguchi adjust adequately before continuing deeper. 

He’s taking it so well, breathing heavily as Tsukki makes him feel fuller than his fingers could. Some part of him thought that because Yamaguchi had stretched himself so wide that there wasn’t any way that he would feel so tight around him. He was evidently very wrong. “Th- The rest, Tsukki, please.” Tsukishima is barely halfway inside of him, but Yamaguchi is just desperate to feel him as deep as he can go. It’s as if Yamaguchi could read Tsukishima’s mind and intentions when he practically growls at him. “Hard.”

Tsukishima listens, thrusting his hips in one motion until they’re flush against Yamaguchi’s skin. Watching Yamaguchi’s face contort into pure bliss, he feels so prideful. A single tear blinks out of Yamaguchi’s eye, falling down his cheek. Immediately, he wants to pull out, convinced he’s done something very wrong. “Are you okay?” The concern in his voice is very evident. 

Yamaguchi is nodding so fervently that Tsukishima still thinks something is wrong, but then he speaks. His voice is hoarse already and more desperate than it’s ever been, but his words are clear. “I’m so fucking full with your cock and your head is rubbing against my prostate and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much fucking pleasure,  _ fuck _ .” 

The praise fogs Tsukki’s brain, filling him with so much certainty that all of the worry and doubt fall away. He’s so focused on the feeling of Yamaguchi around him now. He had never felt anything like it before, never imagined that it would be this  _ good _ . When he thought about having sex with Yamaguchi before, sure, of course it was going to be great, but how could he imagine this sensation when he had never felt better in his life. It was nothing like his own palm or even Yamaguchi’s warm, wet mouth. The slickness of Yamaguchi’s tight walls were like nothing he had ever felt. Even without the friction, even staying completely still, the feeling of Yamaguchi clenched around him makes him dizzy. The constricted ring clamped on the base of his cock almost made him lose his mind. 

When he starts thrusting, he’s positive that he can see stars. He had never been one to wonder about sex, to crave it, but now that he’s buried deep inside of Yamaguchi, he’s thinking about the next time he’ll be able to be back in the same position. The absolute bliss that he’s feeling is only added to when he sees how much Yamaguchi is convulsing underneath him and when he hears the beautiful sounds that are coming deep from within him. Yamaguchi won’t stop screaming his name, making sure that he knows exactly who’s making him feel this way. 

The head of his cock rubs against a swollen nub deep inside of him, the same bundle that he felt when he first slid into him. He watches Yamaguchi’s body rack as he pounds against it, hears how the pitch of his voice goes even higher, sees the sweat glistening on his abdomen as his entire body clenches. He aims for it again, letting his cock glide against the soft nerves. Begs fall from Yamaguchi’s lips as he pleads for Tsukki to do it again like without his cries, he would never touch it again. As if Tsukishima would ever pass up the opportunity to see his boyfriend squirming so violently from pure ecstasy. 

No mind to grab the lube, he spits into his own hand, reaching down and paying attention to the one part of Yamaguchi’s body that has not been taken care of enough. He encases his cock with his fist, pumping it slowly in time with his thrusts. Yamaguchi’s eyes had been squeezed shut so tightly that he nearly jumps at the sudden contact. Tsukishima barely needs the spit, he’s realizing, as he swipes his thumb over the head, spreading all of the precome that’s collected in the slit and dribbled down the side of his cock. Despite the fact that he was significantly smaller than Tsukishima, Tsukki’s single fist almost completely encasing it, he found himself silently worshipping the member in his hand, how red the head was from the lack of contact, the way it throbbed every time Tsukishima hit his boyfriend’s prostate and how fucking hard he was.

His thrusts are already starting to get sloppy and if the feeling wasn’t absolutely euphoric, he might be embarrassed at how long he’s lasting. The way that Yamaguchi was clenching around him, tightening as he stroked his cock and hammered into him, made it almost impossible to continue without coming so quickly. Yamaguchi starts thrusting up into Tsukki’s fist, fucking himself as he comes down. Tsukishima can feel his head ramming into his prostate as Yamaguchi takes control of the situation again. The longer that Tsukki allows him to continue, the faster and harder that his thrusts get until it’s too much for Tsukishima to handle. 

He pulls his cock out of him, feeling slightly guilty at Yamaguchi’s deflated groan, but knowing that if he didn’t stop then, he would have came already. Without his cock there to fill him, he sees how wide Yamaguchi is gaping and precome leaks out of him, pooling in the tip of his condom as he feels himself ache wanting to be back inside of him. He shakes this feeling quickly just admiring how open his boyfriend is because of him. He places one hand on his cheek and lets his thumb slide inside. Yamaguchi whimpers at the feeling, but it’s nothing compared to the thickness that was inside of him moments ago. Truthfully, Tsukishima isn’t doing this to pleasure Yamaguchi, he’s doing it to commit this scene to his memory. He can see how wide he is, the pink flesh surrounding his thumb glistening as he pulls him open to see deeper inside of him. “Tsukki,” his boyfriend whines, but Tsukishima can’t stop marveling. He hooks his other thumb in the hole as well, pulling in opposite directions so slightly, but enough to elicit a mewl from Yamaguchi. “Tsukki.” This time, the tone is much more embarrassed at the situation he’s in. It almost makes Tsukki chuckle. He pulls harder, but not enough to cause Yamaguchi any pain, just slight discomfort as he adjusts to being open even wider. He didn’t have to admit it with words for Tsukishima to know that he was enjoying this. His whimpers are enough. “Tsukki.” The name is so desperate now leaving his mouth, a throaty plea following it. 

With the peaking feeling in him subsiding and the contentment he feels having watched Yamaguchi writhe under his touch, he’s finally ready to feel the perfect fleshy walls around his cock again. He grabs onto both of Yamaguchi’s hips, moving his own to position his cock at the hole he’s stretched open even wider. He doesn’t thrust inside of him, but rather pulls Yamaguchi onto himself. Half off the bed, Tsukishima is pulling Yamaguchi onto his cock at the perfect angle to hit his swollen prostate with every deep penetration. 

Yamaguchi has completely let go of his hand in the situation, forgoing any ounce of control he had left in his body and forcing Tsukishima into the role instead. He moves Yamaguchi on his cock, thrusting into him so rhythmically that he can already feel the heat pooling in his stomach again. He knows that it won’t be long before the friction and slickness push him over the edge, but he wants to watch Yamaguchi come before.

“Jerk yourself, Dashi.” His voice is much more commanding than he intends it to be. He’s about to apologize when Yamaguchi looks so happy like he’s finally right where he wants to be. He wraps his own hand around his small cock, stroking exactly how he likes it, moaning at the sensations that both he and Tsukishima were creating. 

Tsukishima’s focus is unwavering as he concentrates on his engorged nub that makes him writhe around so viciously. The faster that he thrusts into him, the sloppier his strokes get, the more evident it is that he’s getting close, but that also means that Tsukishima can feel himself getting closer as well. He can feel his balls starting to tighten from the pressure of Yamaguchi’s flesh around him. He wants so badly for Yamaguchi to come so that he can watch him as he comes. 

He places his hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder, pressing him down on his cock with more force, relentlessly rubbing against the swollen bundle of nerves. “Fuck, Tadashi.” His hips are beginning to stutter, but he focuses on steadying them, very aware that the repetition and rhythm are part of what’s driving his boyfriend crazy. With all of the sensations Yamaguchi is feeling, all of the pleasure that’s seething inside of him, his fist around his cock is getting lazier, slowing and stumbling. 

Tsukishima wraps his hand around Yamaguchi’s guiding his hand up and down his cock incessantly, building up speed, letting a drop of spit fall on his head, mixing with the precome as he thumbs over top of it, opening his slit as more precome drips out. There’s a steady stream of the clear liquid leaking from the tip as his cock starts to pulse. Tsukishima’s eyes are trained on his throbbing cock as he pumps it through his orgasm. Cum shoots out of the slit, splattering softly on his stomach and into Tsukki’s hand. The ropes of cum continue as Tsukishima’s thrust only gets harder, knowing that nothing is holding him back now. Yamaguchi’s face is nothing but pure bliss as he rides his orgasm to completion, Tsukki fisting his cock persistently even after he’s finished coming. He’s not sure how he finds the words or his voice when he’s so focused on coming down from his high that he does. “Come for me, Kei, please.” 

Despite the thin condom encasing his cock, Yamaguchi can feel every stream of cum. With each pulse that throbs against his walls, he’s wishing that they would have forgone the condom all together just so that he could feel it spraying inside of him, marking their first time together. When his breathing regulates, he knows that he’ll be so thankful that he wasn’t completely fueled by horny instincts and thoughts such as this one. For now, though, for now, he focuses on how long it takes for the pulsating to stop and how much longer it takes for Tsukki to stop sloppily thrusting into him. He can feel himself getting to the point of overstimulation when Tsukishima pulls out. Yamaguchi much prefers the overstimulation to the emptiness. 

He finally relaxes every part of his body that was so tense before, his muscles nearly cramping at how weird it is to not be clenching constantly. His legs especially feel like jelly as they dangle off of his bed. His eyes flutter back open, not even realizing how long they had been closed. He sees Tsukki, the most pleased look on his face as he blinks slowly. “Thank you.”

Yamaguchi shakes his head, unable to vocalize his refusal of his gratitude for taking his virginity. All he wants to do right now is curl up in a ball in Tsukki’s arms and fall asleep and not wake up until Sunday night, but if he falls asleep with come on his stomach, he knows he won’t forgive himself. He makes eye contact with Tsukki, pointing at his stomach and shaking his hand in a cleaning motion. Tsukishima rolls his eyes, but leaves the room quickly, tying the condom as he leaves. When he returns moments later, the condom is gone and is replaced with tissues. 

Yamaguchi’s smile is lazy but radiant and the best thing that Tsukishima has ever seen. He’s reaching up, opening and closing his hands in hopes that one of the times they’ll close around a tissue, but they don’t. Instead, Tsukishima is gingerly wiping his stomach, cleaning off any remnants of sticky remains. Yamaguchi’s eyes close, just taking in the feeling of the soft tissue against his stomach. “I love you, Tsukki.” 

The thought in his mind is  _ I wish that he would call me Kei again _ , but he doesn’t think that he can just blurt that out, not when the nickname has been Yamaguchi’s for so long. He tries a different approach, just a passing comment of something that he really, truly means. “I like it when you call me Kei.” In succession with the sentence that Yamaguchi just made, his motivation is painfully obvious, not that it matters, because Yamaguchi is soaking in this moment. 

“I love you,” he pauses, staring into his eyes and holding his hand, “Kei.” He flushes so hard that he’s not sure if that was the best decision he’s ever made or the worst. 

“I love you, Dashi,” he mumbles in response, too overtaken by his own doing to speak clearly. Before getting into bed, he slides his boxers back on, throwing Yamaguchi’s at him as well. Yamaguchi changes orientations in bed as he’s dressing himself, placing his head softly on the pillow at the top. The second that Tsukishima climbs into bed, Yamaguchi is pulling the blankets up over them both. 

He turns on his side, clearing his throat when Tsukishima doesn’t immediately do the same. He brings his knees up to his chest and scooches backward into his boyfriend’s body, clearing his throat again when Tsukishima’s arms don’t immediately wrap around him. “Tch, you’re so impatient,” he rolls his eyes but complies quickly. His arms perfectly encompass his smaller boyfriend, feeling his heartbeat against his hands and tucking his chin on top of his shoulder. Yamaguchi hums. 

Tsukishima is, surprisingly, the first one to start drifting to sleep when Yamaguchi’s soft voice takes him right back into the real world. He doesn’t mind though. He wishes he could stay awake forever, holding his boyfriend after such an incredible night. “Tsukki?” 

“Hm?” As much as he wants to stay awake forever, all of the adrenaline in his body is crashing very quickly and his eyelids feel like they weigh a million pounds. 

“Was your first time as good as you hoped it would be?” His voice is timid like he doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer to the question, like anything less than an enthusiastic yes would be a failure. 

Tsukishima scoffs, maybe a bit too harshly for the fragility of the situation, but he can’t help himself. “I didn’t know it could be that good.” Yamaguchi hums, happy with the response and ready to fall asleep, but Tsukishima’s not done. “But you made it that good.” He feels Yamaguchi getting warmer against his skin, his chest flushing pressed against his palm. “It was that good because of you… Because you love me and care for me so much…” He pushes a kiss into the back of Yamaguchi’s head, squeezing him tighter. “Thank you.”

“I love you, Kei,” he says for the 3rd time tonight, but he can’t help it. He wants Tsukki to know. He waits for the return, lying quietly as his eyes close, the darkness enveloping him just like Tsukki is. 

“I love you more, Tadashi.” 

As soon as he’s finished his name, he can feel himself drifting to sleep. There’s not enough energy in his body right now to fight him on how wrong he is. There’s barely enough energy for him to flip over and press his lips into Tsukki’s before burying his face in his chest and draping his leg over top of him.  _ Barely _ , but he manages. It was a necessity, after all, being surrounded by his boyfriend who was no longer a virgin thanks to him. 

A thought pops into his mind so intrusively that he can’t imagine not seeing it to fruition. He grabs his phone from the side table, reaching over top of Tsukki as he grumbles, having not fallen asleep quite yet. He taps through the phone, the brightness blinding him at first and annoying Tsukki even further.

“What are you doing?” he mumbles.

He doesn’t answer him, letting the sound start to play from the phone as he sets it back on the nightstand. The sound is low, anything louder and it would have annoyed Tsukki no matter what, but at this volume, you can hear it just clearly enough without it causing you to react. The beat at the beginning is so familiar that Tsukki’s eyes open momentarily. 

When he sees his boyfriend’s are shut, he follows suit, closing them and just taking in the melody, the instrumentals, the vocals, the lyrics. He’s listening to the song that practically confessed for him, not practically, actually, literally confessed for him. Yamaguchi starts humming along. The softness of the situation lulls them both to sleep, Tsukishima first, wrapped in each other and surrounded by the song that got them here in the first place. 

**Author's Note:**

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